Behind the Scenes

     Exciting News!

     Hey everyone! I just want to do a short post about the production process and how it's going :D 
     I have some really exciting news! We finished recording all five songs!!! We've laid down all my vocals and now we're just waiting on Lexi's harmonies, then my dad can do what he does best and sooner than you know it there will be an EP of our original music! I can't believe how fast it's gone! 

The Recording "Booth"

     So first off I want to talk about the booth in which we've done all of this recording. we took over my brother's closet and my friend and I hung blankets all over in it to make it more sound proof. (Cleaning it before that was no easy task by the way. Lemme tell ya, I'm doing an awful lot for this album if I'm willing to clean out a couple of teenage boy's closet just to record.) 

     This worked really well because it's right next to my dad's studio, so if I needed anything he was right there and easy to get to. The closet is really really small, and it gets super stuffy in there. My dad set up a chair with a small fan that I can run while we're not recording, and room for my tea and water. :)  

     Here's some pictures!

 

This is how close the closet is to my Dad's studio door.

   

We hung another blanket over the door so that the cracks would be sealed too.

 

 

 

 

 

ignore my feet ;)

 

Vocals

Me in the recording closet

      Vocals have been one of the hardest things for me in this project. I have to say that this has been quite a journey for me. *wipes forehead* At first my vocal cords weren't very strong. I struggled a lot with staying in tune or on key. I would go "flat" in places (I couldn't figure out what flat meant, or what was wrong with it. shhh don't tell anyone. ;) ) and I couldn't sing loud enough or high enough without obvious struggle. Sometimes I would hit the right note but not with enough strength.

     My voice has come so far through this project and I can't believe the difference! Something that really surprised me was learning to really take control of my voice. When I sang last year all I could think was "Power is Passion. The more power, the better my songs will sound!" and this year I really learned the difference between a powerful song, and a beautifully moving powerful song. I've learned to create more of a balance and to be more awhere of where to really push my vocals, and where to bring sweetness and calmness into the melody as well.

     My friend and I did a music video a year ago of the song "Colors of the Wind." Larry and I decided that I would do another cover of it after I had been working on strengthening my voice for a year so that the senior team could hear the difference. The difference is pretty significant, but I can't show it to you guys because... I barely know more than my grandma (love you grandma. ;) ) about computers and I have no idea how to upload the song onto the blog. Sorry!

(Just a screen shot from the music video)

Inside the Studio

     This is where my dad has been diligently working for me all this time! I'm sure you're very excited to see what it looks like! 

     This is the inside of our little home studio. You can see the wall of guitars that my dad loves and plays everyday. 

     This is a program called "Logic Pro." It's a music program for Mac computers. My dad has been studying on his own time behind the scenes and learning how to best use this program to write the music and record/edit all of my vocals. I couldn't possibly be doing any of this without him. 

     This is a little thing called "Pitch Correction." I've grown to despise this piano... honestly. Whenever we did a vocal track and I thought I had done "pretty good," he would pull out this piano (which plays the keys to what notes you're singing and lights up where you went off) and it would start flashing lights like sirens. *rolls eyes* I got so frustrated every time he would pull this stupid thing out. Recently though, Mr. annoying piano and I have become kind-of friends. Just kidding... honestly, I just let my dad work with him while I'm not in the room and decide that my voice is good enough for me, and it's good enough for God, so who cares what Mr piano thinks of it?! Not this girl. 

     My dad was able to connect his ipad to the computer and use it as a soundboard. And we even set up a talk-back-mic so he can communicate with me through my headphones while I'm in the closet! Here's what his set up looks like: 

Like Father like Daughter

     I just want to finish this post up by saying some quick words about my ever-devoted father. I love this guy a lot. A lot, a lot. <3 He had a car accident when I was a little girl, which left him handicapped, brain damaged, in constant pain, and having constant health issues. I've never met a man more determined to stay alive and keep going through every day just so that he can see his children grow up and make sure they make it okay. He is such an example to me of true faith in God. I can't imagine living the way he does and having such a deep trust that God has a reason. 

     No man has ever loved me so much, and I can honestly say I've never loved any man so much. He tells me he believes in me, and he teaches me new things every day. He's always willing to share his abundant knowledge with me, and I just love hearing all his stories. He has been a huge encouragement to me through this project, and he's the one who first said "you can do this!" So without him, I wouldn't be here blogging right now! 

     He gave me my blue eyes and blonde hair, my creativity, my musical talent, my sense of humor, and apparently a lot of my facial structure which I didn't realize until I looked at this photo!

     Often he tells me he's sorry he could never be a "normal" dad for me, that he wishes he were more. My dad gets so hard on himself for things he couldn't even help. I wish I could get it through to him that I honestly wouldn't trade him for any other dad in the world. He means so much to me. <3

See You Soon!

     I know this post wasn't exactly posted when it was supposed to be (last week) but finishing this project has been so crazy! I will hopefully have another post for you before the end of the week though! I'm really excited to write about what I'm doing right now! I have a feeling you'll be excited too, when I tell you. ;) 

Have an amazing and blessed week! Thanks for reading! <3

~Arianna

An Honest Moment

(This was posted three weeks ago, but I ended up taking it down because it was a little bit dramatic. I edited it, but I still feel like it’s really important that all of you know about this part of the journey.)

     Hi everyone, I know I haven't been here in a long time, but I've been having a really tough few weeks. I can't be perky, and I didn't know how to write while I feel like this. I decided to stop hiding so much behind the blankets and empty brownie pans and tell all of you what's up; because I realize as I talk to more people, that they've been broken too, and I'm not the only one who deals with this. There won't be a lot of pictures in this post to keep you reading. It's just going to go straight through because my feelings are going from my heart to the keyboard and my thoughts aren't organized or strong enough to try to do anything extra. So if you're interested, read through this, and I'm sorry for the mistakes, but I can't fake it anymore. 
     
     So here's my story, and here's where I'm at.
     
     Two weeks ago I had a break down. I was so overwhelmed. The project is so much work and so much pressure and senior year sucks. I'm sorry but I just have to say it. When you have home responsibilities, and when people at your church expect things, and when your friends need you for things (I love being there for you guys, don't take that personally), and when your teacher has a list a mile long of everything you still have to do in order to graduate, you get a little over-stressed.  And that Wednesday I just kind of broke. I couldn't handle it all. 
     The problem was that I had been trying and trying to handle it all, but I didn't even know how to start. I had been freaking out about the lists of things I had to do in my head for weeks already, and I didn't know how to blog because I didn't know how to be happy about where things were at. I began to feel worthless, and like I couldn't do anything right. I've never been good at organizing anything, and I'm naturally an artsy, messy person. I'm horrible at prioritizing. I'm a master procrastinator. I didn't know how to deal with everything that was overdo.
     Now usually, I do this *let’s freak out about how I can’t handle anything or keep my room clean* thing like once a month. Then I wake up the next day and I feel fine, and a little silly and over-dramatic. That didn’t happen this time.
     Thursday I woke up and thought “Oh no.. life. I have to get up… How?” My alarm clock hadn't gone off (even though I checked it twice!) and I missed my morning class...Thursday was awful. I was feeling more and more hopeless as the day went on, and I kept having little breakdowns about the stress and my inability to handle anything. I went to bed so grateful that I had someplace where I could make my brain stop making lists for a few hours. 
     On Friday I woke up like I did on Thursday, wishing I didn't have to. Wishing the world would pause for just a day so I could catch my breath. I could feel my headache that hadn't gone away since Wednesday getting worse. I could feel my neck ache creeping down into my shoulders and back. Then I got in trouble when Mom found out that I had missed my morning class again. When I went back upstairs again, something changed. I was so worn out. So upset. I started to obsess over everything I was horrible at, and how there must be something wrong with me because I had been told that I should be able to handle this and that I "didn't even know what stress was," but for some reason I couldn't. I felt like I wasn't pretty enough, like I sinned too much for God to really love me anymore, like God didn't really care about the album anymore, like I was stupid because I can't do math and can't understand science without reading the page at least five times. I forget everything. I talk too much. The list didn't stop for three hours. I sobbed for those three hours until I couldn't think anymore because I had literally put the very last of my strength into crying. I felt totally abandoned by God.
     I haven't exactly been the same since then. Everyday I'm struggling to get out of bed and try to beat the ever-growing list. I have mini breakdowns every day. If I'm honest, I'm just not okay. 
     Last night I had a disagreement with my dad about the album. I took some things to my sister's house because I can't be in mine right now. Every time I walk in I feel the tension and stress and responsibility that I just can't handle. I'm over here right now eating ice cream and chocolate cake and walking around like a zombie with a never ending waterfall coming from her eyes. Aren't emotions just great? *rolls eyes* 
     I don't want to go home and face my problems again... I don't want to do any of this anymore. I want to quit because I feel like I will never be good enough to handle everything that I'm supposed to right now. And I feel totally pathetic for not being able to handle it all...

     I feel a little naked right now. I can't believe I'm thinking about posting this with no happy ending for you. And with so so much vulnerability. But you know what? Every time I've talked to someone about what I'm going through right now, they say that they've been here at some point. It really helped me to know that I'm not the only one in the world who's felt like this. (And it’s also a little comforting to see that somehow they’re fine now.) So this is for you, because you need to know that you're not the only one. Sometimes life just sucks.

    I'm not going home yet and my parents are talking about how to to make the project more reasonable. I’m just hoping this is all going to have a good ending and I’m trying with all my might to keep trusting God.
Also, I need you guys right now. I need all of your prayers and your support and I need you to believe in me, because right now I don't.
     

A Light at the End of the Tunnel

     Hello There :)

     Hi everybody! I’m excited to share with you some good news after last month’s post. I’m back home after a much-needed break at my sister's house, and I’m feeling so much better. After my last post my facebook inbox was filling up so fast. I was pretty overwhelmed with how many people really cared and sometimes I was surprised at those of you who I never knew read my blog! Thank you so much for your prayers. They’re working! I’m feeling much better, and more inspired to do life again. :D 

Announcements!

     So the first thing I want to tell you is that my dad and I decided that we were only going to do a 5 song album. That makes it a lot less overwhelming for both of us actually. I did write 10 songs, but we’ll save the others for maybe next year after I come home from school. It’s been really hard to pick the songs, but we finally decided on the one that started all of this (the song I wrote for my friend.) and then four others. My to-do list is still pretty over-whelming, but I have had people come around me, pick me up, and say “let’s do this together;” so everything’s flowing a little smoother now! :D Thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone. <3

     Breaking News

      So… I have some big news! We have officially recorded the first song! I’m not that happy with parts of it, but I decided to just be happy that it’s done. And thank goodness my dad is happy with it. *whew* haha. ;) I’m so excited that it’s actually done!

      The next bit of news is that I have my beautiful, talented band-mate and friend Alexi singing my harmonies for me! She’s been harmonizing with me for awhile now because we’re in the youth band together, so it's going great. Our voices blend really well. :) It’s so much fun to work with her happy and uplifting adorable self! :D We had our first session with my dad yesterday and I can safely say that there’s some pretty good stuff coming your way come the end of May! ;)
      Also... due to stress and biting off way more than we could apparently chew in a year, we decided to only do a five song album. yes I wrote 10 songs but the other five are gonna just sit for awhile...  I'm not sure if that still counts as a whole album... maybe I should look that up... ;) haha

     Here’s some good news specifically for my readers. I’m going to (if all goes well!) be blogging every week until the end of May! I need a lot more blog posts to get my senior project up to standards, so I guess you’ll be hearing from me more often!

I’m about to go to a friend’s house and hopefully work with her dad on my vocals for a couple days. Things are definitely looking up. ;)

Still so Much to Do!

      Like I said, I still have a lot to do! I’m gonna include some pictures of my rubric for my senior project in here so you guys can see what I need to do and stuff. 

     The “at goal” is where I need to be to graduate, (thank goodness this is a little flexible because the blog posting hasn’t been necessarily “at goal”) The above goal means “go me!” and the below goal is… not so good.

 

     Well, I can't blog for long this time 'cause I’m working on a lot of other stuff right now. I just wanted to catch you guys up a little and let you know that I’m doing better, and I’m on my way to something great. 

     Is there anything in the rubric that you would love for me to do a specific blog post on? Let me know what you’re interested in hearing about in the comments!

Well, I guess I’ll see you next week! ;)

~Arianna